This is a brief personal explanation of my obsessive nature with spirituality in general and my passion for Catholic Christianity and the Anglican Church/ Church of England. I have been very spiritually minded for as long as I Can remember. My family are Presbyterian being of Scottish heritage I guess that makes sense. My uncle is a Minister in the Presbyterian Church and me and my brother were Baptized/ Christened at the Presbyterian Church of South Africa. Trinity Presbyterian Church in Harare, Zimbabwe in 1985.
My mother has always had a diverse spiritual nature her self, and I blame her for mine! My Grandmother also had a very mixed spiritual upbringing. My Grandmother was sent to a convent school in Zimbabwe in the 1940s and she developed a passion for the Catholic tradition and she tells us that she wanted to become a nun but her Mum would not have it, obviously being a very protestant Scottish woman! Any way, My mother would take us to many different churches on most weekends and the ones I remember the most were the Saturday services at the local Seventh day Adventist Church in Zimbabwe. My Mum soon got baptized with them and we became regular members, my brothers and I were dedicated by them, so started the second stage of our spiritual upbringing. My mum was not very absolutist or fanatical in her faith and most weekends we would go to SDA on the Saturdays and then with a friend of my Mum's to a Pentecostal church called Rhema , on Sundays. Holidays were usually at Presbyterian churches.
When my Dad died and my mum remarried spirituality was almost forgotten in our family and we carried on quite well till moving to the UK. My Mum found her faith and started reading her Bible. We were visited by Jehovah's Witnesses now and then and this I think got my mum back to her faith. I began to take more of an interest at the age of 12, and started sitting in with my mum when the JW's were round. However I was not interested in their teachings as I became fascinated with St Swithen's Church in East Grinstead and found my self joining their choir and eventually being conformed. I loved my time there. So many great memories and Spiritual connectedness with friends in the choir and with the beauty of the church icons and Christian faith; there was a real mystic presence there, one I still feel in most C of E churches. A divine presence that fills me with peace and energy and a feeling of connectedness. I Was conformed in 1998 at the age of 13 and loved every minuet of it. I started becoming more and more spiritually aware of things, at one point I wanted to become a priest when I grew up. But I found doubts and confusion setting in and began taking in a new interest in the teachings of JWs, in hindsight I wish I hadn't. However I did and was baptized at 14 and was an active member till I was 15 and realized I was gay. I left JW, as I no longer agreed with their teachings and started seeing some very obvious unbiblical and even unchristian teachings going on.
I was encouraged to join a Gospel church by some friends from school but my indoctrination from JW was hard to overcome and I soon lost faith in all Christian denominations. I did however have some very interesting spiritual experiences and began to see the biblical explanation for traditional Christian faith and theology. But my path was leading a different spiritual direction and I started embracing alternative spiritual practices on my own. I started with Modern Wicca and Witchcraft and this has always been a fulfilling path for me. I have grown to include a more personal slightly polytheist path and have become more mystic and eclectic in my spiritual views and practice, including Buddhist and Hindu spirituality in my life.
I decided one Sunday to return to an Anglican Church and take communion and I did, I had a very interesting experience, a sensation of electricity running through me and a warmth moving over me from my feet up, probably means I'm completely delusional but it was a deep experience and I have been obsessed with every aspect of the Anglican Church since. Not only that but I have come to a better understanding of the nature of catholic tradition in the Anglican communion and its basis can be found in the bible, contrary to what is misunderstood by many.
Throughout all this though the Anglican Church has always given me a spiritual sense of connectedness and a feeling that it will always be part of me spiritually. From this I have learned to see the Truth of the Church's heritage and history in scripture and to see that it is one of the few Christian faiths that is fully connected to it's tradition and history and yet sill is open to growth and new insight. The Anglican Church, in my view is a Traditional catholic church that is one of change and constant renewal with the Spirit of God through the Gospel of Jesus. I love the diversity and its Unity. In my view the Anglican Church is a reflection of the Holy Trinity, a unity of diversity in its persons but One in its nature and spirit. This needs to be celebrated more in media and in local communities. I can't say I am a Christian,(due to doubts) but I can say I have faith in the Anglican Communion and in its spiritual growth in Jesus.
Spiritually speaking, I will always have an inclusive mystic path to follow but I will never deny the spiritual connection and faith I have in the Anglican Church, its Catholicism and the Christian gospel it teaches.
My mother has always had a diverse spiritual nature her self, and I blame her for mine! My Grandmother also had a very mixed spiritual upbringing. My Grandmother was sent to a convent school in Zimbabwe in the 1940s and she developed a passion for the Catholic tradition and she tells us that she wanted to become a nun but her Mum would not have it, obviously being a very protestant Scottish woman! Any way, My mother would take us to many different churches on most weekends and the ones I remember the most were the Saturday services at the local Seventh day Adventist Church in Zimbabwe. My Mum soon got baptized with them and we became regular members, my brothers and I were dedicated by them, so started the second stage of our spiritual upbringing. My mum was not very absolutist or fanatical in her faith and most weekends we would go to SDA on the Saturdays and then with a friend of my Mum's to a Pentecostal church called Rhema , on Sundays. Holidays were usually at Presbyterian churches.When my Dad died and my mum remarried spirituality was almost forgotten in our family and we carried on quite well till moving to the UK. My Mum found her faith and started reading her Bible. We were visited by Jehovah's Witnesses now and then and this I think got my mum back to her faith. I began to take more of an interest at the age of 12, and started sitting in with my mum when the JW's were round. However I was not interested in their teachings as I became fascinated with St Swithen's Church in East Grinstead and found my self joining their choir and eventually being conformed. I loved my time there. So many great memories and Spiritual connectedness with friends in the choir and with the beauty of the church icons and Christian faith; there was a real mystic presence there, one I still feel in most C of E churches. A divine presence that fills me with peace and energy and a feeling of connectedness. I Was conformed in 1998 at the age of 13 and loved every minuet of it. I started becoming more and more spiritually aware of things, at one point I wanted to become a priest when I grew up. But I found doubts and confusion setting in and began taking in a new interest in the teachings of JWs, in hindsight I wish I hadn't. However I did and was baptized at 14 and was an active member till I was 15 and realized I was gay. I left JW, as I no longer agreed with their teachings and started seeing some very obvious unbiblical and even unchristian teachings going on.
I decided one Sunday to return to an Anglican Church and take communion and I did, I had a very interesting experience, a sensation of electricity running through me and a warmth moving over me from my feet up, probably means I'm completely delusional but it was a deep experience and I have been obsessed with every aspect of the Anglican Church since. Not only that but I have come to a better understanding of the nature of catholic tradition in the Anglican communion and its basis can be found in the bible, contrary to what is misunderstood by many.
Throughout all this though the Anglican Church has always given me a spiritual sense of connectedness and a feeling that it will always be part of me spiritually. From this I have learned to see the Truth of the Church's heritage and history in scripture and to see that it is one of the few Christian faiths that is fully connected to it's tradition and history and yet sill is open to growth and new insight. The Anglican Church, in my view is a Traditional catholic church that is one of change and constant renewal with the Spirit of God through the Gospel of Jesus. I love the diversity and its Unity. In my view the Anglican Church is a reflection of the Holy Trinity, a unity of diversity in its persons but One in its nature and spirit. This needs to be celebrated more in media and in local communities. I can't say I am a Christian,(due to doubts) but I can say I have faith in the Anglican Communion and in its spiritual growth in Jesus.
Spiritually speaking, I will always have an inclusive mystic path to follow but I will never deny the spiritual connection and faith I have in the Anglican Church, its Catholicism and the Christian gospel it teaches.
"But
by the grace of God I am what I am, and his grace toward me was not in
vain. On the contrary, I worked harder than any of them, though it was
not I, but the grace of God that is with me."
- (1 Corinthians 15:10)
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