I missed Mass today

I’m skipping church today. I missed mass today, I know it’s not a good thing to do. The Eucharist, the holy sacrament, the Mass is the central part of faith and worship the mystic unity between God and humanity, heaven and earth with all the saints prophets and angels and ancestors. I love the Mass, so why am I not going today? 

For me there is such a thing as too much church, too much obligation and a very real sense of religious and spiritual burnout. I didn’t go today because I didn’t want to sing in the choir this morning I didn’t want to pretend that I’m good at singing in a tired and drained state.  I didn’t want to put on the happy grin of Christian fellowship and communion. I didn’t want the annoying small talk and the sensation of not being heard or listened to or that I’m annoying. I know I’m annoying I ask odd questions that on one thinks of. 

I love Christ, even as a spiritual eclectic and syncretic and a warlock witch, I love Christ and his church and sacraments I love the catholic faith in all its diversity. Sometimes it is best to come away from the community for a time. To commune with God and heaven in solitude and with the holy scripture of creation. To partake and receive Christ in the sacrament of silence, solitude and rest. To go to Christ in the wilderness of simple mundane life before kneeling before his holy and real presence at is glorious altar. 

I didn’t go to mass today. 

A short rant

One of the many mystic, religious and spiritual traditions I follow and practice to some extent is Witchcraft and my path or tradition is a blended one shaped by many religious and mystic occult idea and concepts. Not going to sugar coat it, I’m a book learned witch (warlock is also a label I like!) I haven’t been part of some powerful initiation through some so called ancient tradition or order, I don’t have a long family heritage of mystic or witchcraft practice. I started my journey as a curious teenager buying books experimenting and learning on my own. My choice mostly. 

From this learning journey I’ve come to the view that witchcraft is definitely not a religion and it’s certainly not “the old religion” as some claim. I reject crypto paganism ideas I reject the witch cult underground servival ideas and I reject any notion that the witch trials involved the execution of any one remotely practicing witchcraft or that it was some sort of religious persecution. I reject conspiracy theories and concepts of a universal pagan witchcraft religion. I reject the historic claims of Wicca but don’t reject it entirely as a modern branch of Witchcraft and/or a type of Mystery tradition. This is something that has taken along time to accept. At least from what I know of Wicca as a tradition outside of initiation and through books. I reject the constant anti Christian and anti Abrahamic religion conspiracies and retric.

While my path and personal practice has been shaped by Wicca and these ideas, it’s easy to see, when reading actual reliable history, that it doesn’t fit and appears completely made up and contrived. Now I’m not completely against Wicca I started with Wiccan ideas and rituals and I have a fondness for some ritual structure of that tradition. But I’m definitely not Wiccan. 

If I’m truly honest I don’t really know what I am or what my path is. Hedge Witch or Warlock are terms I like but they are loaded with baggage. I guess I’m some sort of syncretic, Anglo-Catholic Christian mystic that has a personal blended tradition shaped by folklore, folk magic and folk religion with elements of Occult esoteric ideas, modern witchcraft, neopaganisn and animist spirituality.